My high school boyfriend was extremely jealous. Anytime I so much as spoke to another guy, he would have a meltdown. The first couple of times it happened, I was surprised, but honestly, I was also kind of flattered. He wasn’t abusive or mean… just kind of intense about it. However, it didn’t take long for that to wear extremely thin and go from an ego boost, to annoying, to a deal breaker. It wasn’t always clear in past relationships when to end things because I didn’t know how to know when a relationship is over. But not this time.
I remember the exact moment it was over. I was talking to a classmate when I saw him out of the corner of my eye — well, actually, it was more like I felt his eyes burning into the side of my head. His face was a mixture of pain and anger, and in that moment, something in my mind just clicked. It. Was. Over. The thought of dealing with his insecurity for one more minute made my skin literally crawl.
Turns out, I’m not alone. A Reddit user asked women to tell them “about a time when you knew the EXACT moment your relationship was over,” and the answers are fascinating. The reasons why these women ended their relationships run the gamut, but one thing they all have in common is the fact that when you know, you .
When the little things were too much:
When we went to the Science Center (my favorite place) and he refused to do any of the little activities.
It sounds silly, but we were ordering pizza and I wanted spinach and he wanted pepperoni, so we got two different pizzas
And the not-so-little things, too:
When he thew up on me. He was a weekend alcoholic and that was the final straw.
When the trust was gone:
When he apologized for something I told my best friend in confidence about and realized they were discussing every detail of our relationship
I suspected that he was smoking. He lied about it. I found undeniable proof. He fessed up. Trust was gone. Relationship was lost that very moment.
When he liked a picture of a girls ass on instagram. It was a girl he went to school with too.
When they were selfish AF:
I’d taken my ex girlfriend on a trip to Finland just before Christmas one time. She’d always wanted to go to the Kakslauttanen resort where you can sleep in these beautiful cabins with glass domes so you can watch the Northern lights at night, and I loved her and wanted her to be happy.
She was initially quite happy about it but once we got on the bus to the resort, she was complaining nonstop about how cold it was (of course it’s cold babe, it’s bloody Finland in winter), then she was snide with the staff at the hotel which I cannot stand, and then she started a fight with me about the blankets the hotel had laid out for us on the couches. I was prepared to let all that slide because people have bad days sometimes but the next day, she woke up and had a fit about my not having ordered her coffee for the exact time she would be awake, and I remember I stepped outside to have a smoke and it was so cold and the sky was almost entirely pink and I was standing in snow up to my thighs and I thought, “aye, that’ll be that then.”
I was cooking dinner for my college bf. When he got there, I decided to surprise him by making him a nice cocktail while I finished cooking. As I’m shaking the drink, he screams, “What are you doing? Goddammit, I’m hungry!” I’m so glad that relationship is over.
When we were in scuba class. I had dropped my goggles down to the bottom of the pool for an excercise where you swim down to get them, put them on, and clear them. Anyways, my ex was great at it. I was having a panic attack and I was too terrified to go get my goggles. He was busy bragging and I interrupted to ask him to get my goggles for me and he ignored me. When I asked him again he shouted at me. Nope.
He thought asking me to quit my job was a reasonable thing. For context, full time student, rent and bills to pay. I couldn’t afford to. He treated my job like a burden because it wasnt time taking care of him.
With true hatred in his eyes, accused me of “withholding information” because I wouldn’t do his internet research for him. Lol bye.
When they were abusive:
When he smacked me so hard across the face I bled for the first time
his father terrified me. several times, he’d break in drunk and in a rage, screaming in a language i couldn’t understand while hitting objects in our apartment. i just cowered and cried. bonus points, he looked like the dude who raped me as a kid.
now, my ex-husband had a looooot of fucking shit counting against him, but what actually broke the relationship was that he told me his father wanted to go out for dinner. i said i didn’t want to go. he started yelling at me and i started crying, telling him that he frightened me and looked like a child rapist. he went on this huge tirade about how i was making it all up so i didn’t have to do unpleasant things out of love for my husband (which i realized in that moment didn’t exist). before, he claimed that he believed every word and he wanted to save me from my previous life.
i told him it was over. he flounced to his mama’s house. i spent a glorious weekend cooking whatever the hell i wanted, sleeping without being lowkey sexual assaulted, and watching TV and being . he was so pissed and felt so betrayed when he came back from giving me space to find i still wanted to break up.
When there were problems in the bedroom:
The moment I realized I couldn’t remember the last time we had sex.
We had just finished fucking, and he said something to the extend of how it was different that time, like “taking a shit.”
When they realized they had fallen out of love:
I suspected he was going to propose soon. When I thought of him proposing and me not being able to say yes. I couldn’t put him through that, and at that moment I didn’t think I was in love with him anymore. So I broke it off
we were in the car on our way to to Key West, FL having a great time listening to our favorite music, talking our ears off and shmoking some weed.. just enjoying each others company. all of the sudden it hit me.; i was staring into his eyes and realized i wanted to be far away from him- it legit broke my heart into a million pieces.
I didn’t want to hold his hand on Valentine’s Day
When they were jealous:
I live in the UK where the legal drinking age is 18 and my boyfriend at the time wouldn’t let me go out because “people only go out to have sex”.
He also embarrassed me at school by getting overly stressed with things so I was crying in the toilet at lunch time and tried to stop me from seeing my best friend of 15 years at the time.
Thank god I got out of that relationship, it would have ruined my uni experience if I hadn’t broken up with him the suer before I went.
I visited my hometown and happened to run into one of my friends. I sent my SO a text alone the lines of ‘how lovely I just ran into my friend!’, and he replied ‘don’t even bother coming back to me if you get with him’ (there was literally zero chance of anything happening with this friend)
Then when I got home he accused me of lying (he thought I had planned to meet up with this friend and deliberately not told him for some reason) and demanded I apologise to him. I still don’t know what I was supposed to be apologising for.
And then there’s this
The moment he asked me not to get a scan to check if my cancer was in remission because he didn’t want another bill.
Wow! Yeah, if your partner is more worried about the bottom line than your cancer, that’s a pretty big sign that it’s time to bounce.
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